It’s said that you need 21 days to make a habit, and 90 days to build a lifestyle. Well, let’s see…
You need consistency to make a habit, that’s clear. If it’s outside the comfort zone, you need determination, too. And, obviously, you need an even longer time to make it second nature, integrating it into your lifestyle without perceiving it as an effort, or as something out of the ordinary. And 21-90 sounds great. Wouldn’t you like to be able to improve anything in your behavior in just 3 weeks?
It’s good for us.
People remember and attach themselves more easily to beautiful numbers and formulas, and here we have it: 3 weeks / 3 months. At the same time, 21/90 seems short enough to be encouraging, and long enough to be credible. Then enough people kept repeating the expression until it became a “rule”.
Does it have any scientific basis? In short, no. Going a little deeper, we can say that it has its origins in the observations and comments made on the observations (which later turned into well-sold books) of an cosmetic surgeon named Maxwell Maltz. He analyzed the behavior of his patients but also his personal reactions to creating habits and adapting to change, and concluded that it takes at least 21 days of consistency.
His books (the best known being Psycho-Cybernetics – published in 1960) were later cited by many of those who later debated the subject of self-image improvements and behavioral change as steps toward a more fulfilled life.
What does science say?
Science doesn’t come with anything precise. The variations from one person to another and from one type of change to another are so great that, no matter how many approaches have been tried, no rule has resulted. It took anywhere between 15 and 250 days for a habit to form, but for the sake of averages, some researchers have ventured to say that a more credible figure than 21 would be somewhere around 65.
Don’t be disappointed!
65 sounds a lot harder than 21, but it’s actually the same thing. You have to start. And set realistic goals. And see yourself achieving your goals, and feeling better. And go for it without counting the days.
Creating a habit (whether it’s more mundane / approachable, or radical / life-changing) is not an event, but a process. You have to ask yourself “How will I feel if I do this?”, to perceive its benefits, to embrace the process, and to dedicate yourself to the system.
Allow yourself to fail, because forming a habit is not an “all-or-nothing” process. It doesn’t matter if you mess up now and then. Try it again in another way. There is no doubt that in the end you will succeed.
It really doesn’t matter how many days it takes to do it. But if we, as wonderfully complicated beings, still need a number to get us moving, 21 sounds perfect indeed.
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